Nader beats Obama, Hillary and Newt!

Thanks to The Concord Monitor's great Primary Monitor blog for this one.

Fox News and Opinion Dynamics just put out a great national poll.

Some hilarious trends that actually make me feel better about Fox, the American people and humanity at large.

1. More people say they are closely following the 2008 presidential campaign (77 percent closely/23 percent not closely) and the Congressional debate on the Iraq war resolution (69/29) than all of the following - the death of Anna Nicole Smith (51/48), this season of "American Idol" (26/71), the trial of Scooter Libby (31/65) and the arrest of the diaper-wearing astronaut (41/57).

I am slightly freaked out that 51 percent of the populace says they are following the death of a moron closely and don't at all get that Americans aren't more interested in a decorated astronaut who drives across the country in a diaper to kill a woman she thought was a threat to the man she was cheating on her husband with.

But I digress.

The true hilarity in this poll is the ranking of candidates voters say they will never, ever vote for. The key phrase here is, "under no circumstances." The results may (but I doubt it) send some candidates back to the drawing board.

The ranking - remember, you don't want your name on this list:

Ralph Nader - 76 percent
Newt Gingrich - 64 percent
John Edwards - 45 percent
Hillary Clinton - 44 percent
John McCain - 40 percent
Rudy Giuliani - 36 percent
Barack Obama - 34 percent

Love it.

Sadly, for the Man from Belmont, his name never even comes up. Not a single question about Mitt Romney. Hmmm. Wait, there is the ever-present question of whether voters would be more or less likely to support a candidate who's a Mormon (8 percent say yes, 26 percent no and 62 say it doesn't matter). But Hillary, McCain, Rudy, Obama - they're all there in the horserace questions.

But No Mitt. Sorry, Eric.